More Than Romance: Marriage with a Mission

Everyone desires love that will last a lifetime! However, it doesn't take long to realize that lasting love isn't easy. God created marriage in Genesis 1:26-28, but what does a Christ-centered marriage really look like? In Ephesians 5:21–33, the Apostle Paul gives one of the most profound pictures of marriage found in all of Scripture. While these verses have sparked much debate over the years, their true beauty is found in the call for both husband and wife to reflect the love and humility of Christ. Let's take a look at what Paul teaches:

Mutual Submission (v. 21)

Paul begins this section with a foundational command:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

This verse sets the tone for everything that follows. Before discussing the roles of wives and husbands, Paul reminds us that Christian relationships are grounded in mutual submission—laying down our desires for the good of another, just as Christ did for us. In our current culture, submission isn't something we are encouraged to do for one another. In fact, you are more likely to hear "Do you!" However, that is not what God desires for us. We are here to serve and love others. In order to do that, we must submit our desires to the Father and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our lives.

Wives: Honor and Trust (v. 22–24)

Paul calls wives to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord.” This is not about inferiority, but about willingly following your husband who ideally is himself submitted to Christ. It’s a posture of trust and partnership, not control. In a godly marriage, this submission is never demanded—it is freely given in the context of mutual love and respect. However, we in a sinful world and marriages are often not operating as God designed them. Whether that be the wife is not submitting or the husband is not following Christ, this can lead to dissention. In these cases, God calls us to seek Him first and through his overflowing grace and mercy He will provide us with the power to fulfill our roles despite the other person's faults.

Husbands: Love and Sacrifice (v. 25–30)

The greater weight of responsibility falls on husbands, who are called to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ’s love was not passive or selfish. It was sacrificial, selfless, and sanctifying. Husbands are to love in a

way that protects, nourishes, and lifts up their wives, helping them grow in faith and joy. God did not design marriage to be a hierarchy, but a beautiful union between a man and a woman. When each spouse is fully devoted to Christ first, their marriage will blossom as a by-product of their love for Christ.

Marriage as a Picture of the Gospel (v. 31–33)

Paul closes with a mystery: marriage is not just about two people—it’s a picture of Christ and the Church. When a husband loves sacrificially and a wife responds with respect and trust, their union reflects the covenant love between Jesus and His people.

“This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (v. 32)

Marriage is not primarily about happiness, but holiness. It’s a living testimony of the gospel—a visible demonstration of how Christ loves and how the Church responds. What a blessing God has given us! He has allowed us to experience a holy union with another person that reflects the union of Christ and the Church.

Living It Out

Whether you’re married, preparing for marriage, or walking alongside others in their relationships, Ephesians 5 reminds us that our roles are not about power, but about Christlike love. In a world that distorts love and relationships, God’s Word offers a better way—a way marked by humility, service, and grace.

Questions to Reflect On:

• How does mutual submission show up in your relationships?

• In what ways can you love or serve your spouse (or others) like Christ?

• How does your view of marriage reflect the gospel?

If your relationships are not a reflection of Christ’s love—sacrificial, strong, and full of grace, contact us! We would love to pray for you and help you seek a holy marriage that will last a lifetime.

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