Equal Yet Distinct: The Balance of Roles in a Biblical Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful union between a man and a woman who commit themselves to each other for the entirety of their lives before God and man. If you are married, think about when you met your spouse. Do you remember the butterflies in your stomach and the nerves you felt when it was time for your date? You were so excited every time your phone rang hoping it would be them (if your our age, that was before caller ID). Depending on how long you've been married, those feelings might seem like a distant memory! Why is that? Why don't we still look at each other with the same admiration we did when we first met? The Bible explains why this happens in Genesis.

In Genesis, chapter 3, God describes the affects of sin on man and woman. Genesis 3:16 declares, "Then he said to the woman, 'I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you'." Many of us recognize that the pain of childbirth is a consequence of sin, but we don't acknowledge the importance of the latter part of this verse: women will desire to control their husbands. This might be confusing for you because in the world we live in, it is completely acceptable for a woman the be leader of her household. Women are great at multi-tasking, and they know what to do and how to get it done. Men tend to be more focused on one problem at a time, and to women that often doesn't seem like the best way to get a lot done. However, God placed men as the Spiritual leaders.

Have you ever been placed in a leadership role, to have someone you are leading trying to lead you? It usually does not go well! As the leader, you may feel the need to put the other person in their place because they have no right to tell you what to do. Or you might cave, and let them lead because it is not worth the fight. Either scenario will not lead to a cohesive team that accomplishes what they set out to do. Are you making the connection with marriage? When wives lead, there is dissension! Husbands either act out in anger because they don't want to be led, or they allow their wives to lead because it is easier.

Let me elaborate. God's design for marriage is for men to lead their families in the ways of the Lord, and for women to love and nurture their husbands and children. Men and women were both created by God, and God equally loves both genders. However, he created different and distinct roles for men and women. These roles were designed by our Creator, therefore, we do not get to argue with His design. If God says it is best for men to lead, then it is! The problem is we live in a sinful world full of sinful people. Do all men lead their families in the ways of the Lord? Absolutely not! This is why God commanded the Israelites to not intermarry with other nations. He knew if they did, they would be marrying people that did not adhere to God's law.

How do we apply these principles and truths to our lives today? If you are not married yet, you should only marry someone who loves Jesus! Then, he or she will be seeking to apply Biblical principles to their lives which means no matter what happens, God will be the center of your decisions. If you are already married, this can be tricky to walk out. Are you married to a believer? If so, you need to come together, and seek God asking Him to reveal to you what you need to change in your marriage in order to honor Him.

If you are not married to a believer, you need to seek God and ask Him to help you honor and respect your spouse in a way that glorifies God. The Bible says, "If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." (1 Corinthians 7:12-14). This may not be an easy road to walk, but take heart in the truth that God loves you and your spouse! He wants what is best for you. Even though this may be difficult do, "It is the LORD who goes before you; he will be with you and will never fail you or forsake you. So do not fear or be dismayed". (Deuteronomy 31:8)

In closing, we hope this has opened your eyes to God's truth about marriage. At Live Transformed Ministry, our greatest passion is to strengthen the family unit! We desire to see families walking in the ways of the Lord, and living the lives He desires for us. On the other hand, Satan seeks to steal, kill and destroy. One of the greatest ways he is destroying Christians is by tearing families apart! Don't let the lies of Satan steal your family. If you would like help in your family or marriage, please reach out to us!

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